We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
