she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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