Is it normal to miss your booty call?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
