I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think your dad took our porno
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
