things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
