You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
