Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
