i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
