My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
