no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
