nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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