Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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