guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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