all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
