You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
