whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
