Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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