i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
