"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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