Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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