it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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