can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
