I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i believe in u and ur pee
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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