the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
