I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
