im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
