is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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