I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
