And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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