Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
