Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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