Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
