Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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