im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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