people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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