Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
