The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
