That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
