We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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