strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
