Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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