god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
