i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
