just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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