Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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