just tell him i said nine months
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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