I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
