I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
