i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
