he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i've created a new STD.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
