everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
