thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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