Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
